I am currently going through the Beth Moore study on the Psalms of Ascent. In the introduction, Beth encourages you to begin the practice of lying prostrate before the Lord. I have only been prostrate, truly face down and ready to "give up" before the Lord, once during an extremely difficult time in my life. I was, in all honesty, hesitant to try again.

As I see the budding trees and enjoy the rolling hills of Arkansas, a small twinge interrupts my reverie. An old longing, hidden now in the recesses of my heart, leaps forward in my mind. How wonderful it would be to live in the forest, in a small log cabin in the woods, surrounded by the beauty of nature. How peaceful it would be to raise my children in a place where they could run in and out of the house amidst the calls and songs of the birds, never once thinking of the harm that could befall them in this era when children are no longer safe.

I felt...well...just wonderful when we came back from Thailand. One of the biggest contributing factors was my weight. I weighed less than I had in a long time. I really felt good and felt like I looked good. Looking back, I can see now how prideful I was. I have a confession: I felt superior to many people. Sure, I didn't feel that way all the time, but I did feel that way. God gave a blessing, let's even call it a responsibility, and I blew it.